


Just Like Gasoline

by SleeplessRomantic



Category: Connor Franta - Fandom, tronnor - Fandom, troye sivan - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: BoyxBoy, Gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessRomantic/pseuds/SleeplessRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As far as Troye is concerned, love isn't important. He has friends, fame, family... Everything he needs to be happy. Plus he isn't sure he's ready to commit to anyone just yet, not after his last relationship. </p><p>As far as Connor is concerned, there's nothing missing from his life. So why does he feel so sad? Could it be the nagging thought that everyone has one special person, while he has no one? And then there's Troye...</p><p>In a perfect world, the two boys would figure out their feelings and live happily ever after. But this world is far from perfect, and fate seems to be against them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: You're Nostalgia and Devastation

Troye's POV

Four words. Four words were all it took for my life to change forever. 

"I'm releasing an EP."

The crowd cheered so loudly I thought my eardrums might explode, but I was too happy to care. All my "childish dreams" and late night songwriting had led up to this point, and it was beyond anything I'd ever imagined.

I glanced to my right, where my best friend Tyler Oakley sat grinning like the maniac he was, then focused farther into the wings. Although I couldn't quite make out the details, I knew that Connor was there cheering as well. I hadn't thought it was possible to smile any wider, but it happened automatically when I remembered how proud Connor was. 

I made a mental note to thank Connor properly after I was done with my fans. He'd been a major support over the past year, and I wanted to make sure he knew I didn't take it for granted. 

My attention was drawn back to the mass of people in front of me and I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be talking. After taking a few seconds to organize my thoughts, I opened my mouth. 

**

Three exhausting hours later, I was finally finished. As much as I absolutely adored my fans, I needed some time to relax after the past few stressful days. Thankfully my friends all seemed to agree, and they let me head straight to my room without bothering to ask if I wanted to go out. 

"Ugh." I flopped onto my bed, relieved to finally be off my feet. Flipping onto my stomach, I grabbed my laptop and logged into Twitter. I was happy to notice that my header and profile picture had been updated right on schedule, and my mentions were blowing up with excited tweets about the EP. I found myself grinning like an idiot, I was so ecstatic about everything. Part of me still couldn't believe this was really happening. Me, Troye Sivan Mellet, Australian YouTuber and amateur singer, was releasing and EP at only nineteen. How was that even possible? This stuff only happened to characters in books and movies, or to people with tons of money and connections, not some unknown kid from Perth.

The more I thought about it, the more overwhelmed I became, until I felt my eyes start to tear up. Stop it. No crying. I quickly shut my laptop and wiped my eyes, glancing in the mirror to distract myself. 

"Crap." It was a distraction, all right. My quiff I'd worked on so meticulously that morning had since flopped to the side, and I looked like I really needed a shower even though I had one earlier. How long have I looked like this? I wondered worriedly. Surely someone would have told me if my hair was messed up while I was meeting fans, right?

I flashed back to the moment I'd gotten off the stage, when Connor gave me a hug and teasingly ruffled my hair. Oh. Well, there was nothing I could do about it now except fix it for later. Another shower couldn't hurt, right? Although I was really tired...

Priorities. I could sleep after my shower, and I felt too gross to lay down again anyways. Once my mind was made up, it didn't take long for me to gather my stuff and turn on the water. As I felt the temperature and stepped in, I began singing one of the songs off my album. 

"My happy little pill, take me away."

I grabbed the cute little hotel shampoo bottle and lathered my hair. Mmmm. Taking a shower was a great idea, I thought as my muscles relaxed under the water. 

"Dry my eyes, bring colour to my skies."

I couldn't wait to release the song, it was one of my favourites and I knew my fans would love it. Then again, I was excited about all my songs. Although one in particular made me a bit nervous. I had written Gasoline late one very emotional night and even though I loved it, I was worried that it was too personal to share with the world. Especially if he ever heard it... I knew he would recognize the situation. Even if the song was an apology, I wasn't sure if I was ready for him to know how much I still thought about him. 

Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around my waist. I couldn't help noticing how many times I had to wrap it around my too-skinny frame. I tried to promote body positivity as much as possible, but that didn't change the way I personally viewed my own body. I couldn't help it; all I saw in the was an underweight, gangly, pale teenager with big eyes and a birthmark. The sad thing was, I could remember when I used to be happy with my body. Before he showed me the truth...

No. Don't think about it. I shook the water out of my eyes, hoping to shake the thoughts out of my head at the same time. I'm past that. I'm past him, I told myself the familiar mantra. Even if I did write a song about him. 

Utterly exhausted now, I stumbled back into my room and fell onto my bed. The last thing I remembered was the sound of my hotel room door opening.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Close Your Eyes and Rewind Me

Connor's POV

I stood in the wings of the stage, watching Troye talk exuberantly about his upcoming EP. I felt so proud of him, and I was happy that he was excited. He definitely deserved to be; I'd personally seen how much work he'd put into his music over the past year. Most of our Skype conversations had ended because he fell asleep partway through. Or because he was too upset... I clearly remembered the long nights I'd spent trying to cheer him up. He always claimed he was just worried about the EP, but I couldn't help wondering if there was something he wasn't telling me. Every once in a while he would start a sentence only to stop halfway through, or he would zone out completely, obviously thinking of something else entirely. To put it simply, I was worried about him, but I wasn't going to force an explanation out of him if he didn't want me to know. I prided myself on being a good friend, if nothing else. 

As I watched him now though, he seemed more happy than I'd seen him in months. His smile lit up the entire room, and part of me wanted to capture it and lock it in a glass jar to keep forever. Is that a weird thing to think about your friend's smile? I wasn't sure. Recently my thoughts had been getting stranger, to the point that I had no idea where they were coming from. But I was an expert at pushing things to the back of my mind, and I quickly forgot about it. 

I was pulled out of my head when I saw Troye and Tyler exiting the stage. Immediately after they reached the wings where I was, I pulled Troye into a hug. 

"I'm so proud of you!" I gushed, maybe a bit too much because he looked confused for a second. Did I do something wrong? Thankfully my fears were erased as he grinned and hugged me back. 

"Thank you!" Then he pulled away and stared intensely at me. I resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze, waiting for the words I knew were coming. "I mean it, you know. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me this year, and every year before that."

My heart leaped at his words. Although it really hadn't been a big deal for me, obviously my support meant a lot to him. As it should, my sassy side pointed out. 

After a few seconds, I realized I was still hugging him. I hurriedly stepped away from him and cleared my throat nervously. Awkward. Thankfully, my amazing sense of humour saved the day, as usual. 

"And every year after this, I'm not letting you go so soon," I teased. Thinking back though, I realized it sounded less like teasing and more like a sincere promise. Wow. I guess it really was.

Troye just stared at me, emotions playing across his features. As hard as I tried, I couldn't quite read them. Finally he just nodded and buried his head in my shoulder. 

"I was hoping you wouldn't."

I froze, not sure if I'd heard him correctly. When he brought his head up and made eye contact once more, I knew I had. Several thoughts scurried across my mind like storm clouds on the horizon, and I couldn't pin any down. Did he mean it sincerely? And if he did, what was he saying? Calm down, Franta. Most people wouldn't read so deep into everything their friend said.

I knew the irritating little voice in my head was right. I just couldn't figure out what that could possibly mean. After all, Troye and I were just friends. Although maybe we didn't have the most typical friendship in the world. There was no doubt in my mind that Troye Sivan Mellet was my best friend. I just wasn't so sure if there were any doubts in his mind. Even if I would never admit it aloud, sometimes I felt insecure around Tyler. He and Troye were so close, and they'd known each other much longer than Troye and I had. Plus there was the whole Troyler thing, which nobody was sure about (and I got the feeling they weren't entirely sure themselves).

Not that I wanted a romantic relationship with Troye, I was a straight male. And I wasn't looking for romance in general. No matter what the stupid annoying voice in my head thought. 

No, that wasn't the problem. As silly as it sounded, I was just jealous that someone else was closer to Troye than I was. I couldn't help being upset that he might see Tyler - or anyone else, for that matter - the way I saw him. After all, everyone else I knew had that one person in their life that felt the same way about them. Whether it was romance or just friendship, there was always one person they were totally secure with. And I didn't have anyone. Because if I let myself accept it, I didn't want to have anyone but Troye. And I had no idea what he thought about me. 

A sharp elbow in my side jerked me back to reality. I really need to stop getting lost in my thoughts, somebody is going to notice. I looked around quickly, but thankfully everyone seemed caught up in other things. 

Everyone, that is, except for the owner of the bony elbow currently jammed into my ribs. I glared at his cheeky grin. 

"Tyler!"

"Sorry!" He giggled, clearly far from sorry. Whatever. I turned back to where Troye had stood only a second before, but he was nowhere to be seen. How long have I been standing here? I wasn't sure, but it had probably been long enough to be awkward. Hence the elbow. 

Sighing, I turned back to the annoying green-haired gremlin. "Where's Troye?" 

"Oh, he went over there," he waved his hand non-commitedly. I briefly glanced in the general direction before realizing it was a lost cause. 

"Oh well, if you see him tell him I went to my room, alright?"

Tyler gasped, placing one hand over his heart as if he'd been stabbed. "But we're all going out for dinner! Aren't you coming?" 

I sighed again, despite innerly shaking my head at how dramatic I was being. Two sighs in one minute. That's not just dramatic, that's borderline Tyler Oakley. 

"No, I'm not feeling great so I'm going to call it an early night. Maybe tomorrow?" I grinned hopefully, knowing well that he wouldn't let me off that easily. 

"And miss what could possibly be the greatest dinner of your entire night? What? This is preposterous!" Tyler sputtered, looking positively horrified. I couldn't help laughing at his traumatized expression. If there's one thing I'd learned over the years, it was that it was impossible to stay mad at Tyler Oakley. 

"Sorry, I guess the greatest dinner of my life will have to wait. I'm just not up for a wild night with Tyler Oakley." As I expected, the slip of humour provided escape. 

"Can't handle all this, is that it?" He winked at me before waving me away. He's the queen, alright, I laughed to myself. 

**

Two cups of coffee and five tumblr minutes later, I was finally feeling good again. I really need to stop putting myself in these moods, I sighed. Just then my phone buzzed and I glanced at the screen. 

New tweet from @tyleroakley: "great dinner with great friends! Too bad @connorfranta and @troyesivan couldn't make it tonight"

I sat up in bed, suddenly intrigued. Troye hadn't gone either? I suppose it makes sense, he deserves a night off tonight. I couldn't help noticing the way my heart jumped at the tweet though. That meant Troye was still in the hotel. Maybe he would want to hang out for a bit. No, he stayed here for a reason, just leave him be. I wasn't sure if that was the voice of reason or the voice of self-doubt, so I didn't bother listening. Instead I pulled up his number and sent a short text. 

Connor: just realized we both stayed at the hotel, wondered if you want to hang out for a few hours?

After waiting a few minutes with no response, I sent another one. 

Connor: hope I didn't wake you up with the last text, sorry! ... Or with this one, oops. Anyways, it's fine if you don't want to. 

Did the last sentence sound too needy? I wasn't sure. Since when did I overthink every text I sent, anyways? All I knew was that something had changed in my mind. Whether I was just insecure about our friendship suddenly, or it was something more... I stopped myself. What do you mean, something more? Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I was just tired, or it could be an effect of the constant sad mood I'd been in lately, but I was definitely overthinking everything. 

Okay, so I need a different approach. What do normal, non-overthinking, secure friends usually do? And suddenly I knew. Granted, it wasn't my best idea. In fact, it was probably the opposite of my best idea. But Troye had given me his spare room key for a reason, right?

Which is how I found myself standing in his hotel room, staring at a mostly-naked boy asleep on top of his blankets.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: You're Looking Long Gone at Me

Connor's POV

Well. This is awkward. 

I was frozen at the entrance of the room, staring at the unconscious boy sprawled across the bed. I should've realized he was asleep when he didn't respond to my texts. Idiot. 

I really should have left then, but I couldn't quite tear my eyes away from Troye's sleeping form. His soft chocolate hair flopped over his closed eyes. His hands had latched onto the bed sheets near him; he clutched them not in a white-knuckled grip, simply pulling the sheets close as if for comfort. My eyes wandered further down against my will, and I couldn't help noticing his defined stomach or the sharp hips that had escaped the damp towel. And just below that, my eyes landed on - 

Woah. Stop. What are you doing? I shook my head, an action that was becoming increasingly familiar. 

Extremely flustered now, I fumbled for the doorknob behind me. Halfway out of the room, I realized I should probably tuck him in properly. Or at least get him out of that wet towel. Ignoring the lump that had suddenly risen in my throat, I closed the door again and stepped farther into the room.

Not sure how to go about changing him, and fully aware that he could wake up at any second, I moved cautiously. Better just get this over with, I thought, and pulled the towel off in one swift movement. I hurriedly grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the floor and tugged them over his hips, keeping my eyes trained on his face. Thankfully, he remained fast asleep until I was done. Carefully scooping him into my arms, I placed him properly in the large bed and pulled the duvet over his body. 

"Goodnight, Troye," I whispered, resisting the temptation to kiss him on the cheek. Then I tiptoed out of the room, locking the door behind me. 

Back in the safety of my own room, I breathed a sigh of relief and rested my head in my hands. That could've gone so much worse. 

I bolted upright as panic began to set in. When he woke up, he would definitely know someone had been there. Add that to my text messages... It wouldn't take a genius to figure out it was me. I groaned inwardly as my brain scrambled to find a solution. When nothing came to mind, I sunk back onto my bed. 

I guess the awkwardness has just begun. 

**

The next morning dawned bright and cheery, unlike me. I'd finally fallen asleep at 3 am, after hours of restless tossing and turning. Needless to say, I was far too exhausted to face the unavoidable awkward encounter with Troye. 

Maybe I was making it out to be far worse than it really was, but I did totally invade his privacy. I mean, I went into his room while he was sleeping! Then to top it all off, I changed his clothes and tucked him in! 

Well maybe he won't put two and two together. Or maybe he'll appreciate it. I wasn't stupid though; I realized how unlikely that was. After more thinking, I finally decided to just forget about it and go about my day as normal. If he brought it up, I'd admit that it was me, but I could act normal around him otherwise. As long as I could hide the guilt and embarrassment from my face. I knew how talented Troye was at reading people. 

As I brewed my necessary cup of coffee, I zoned out a bit, thinking about Troye. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget the initial image of him last night, sprawled across his bed. It was odd, actually; it wasn't the type of thing that usually got stuck in my head. But then again, I usually didn't think about anything as much as I'd been thinking about Troye lately. 

This is getting to be a bit of a problem, isn't it Franta? I shook my head for what felt like the millionth time, and brought my thoughts back to the present. As I did, I realized I had been singing Troye's song. 

"Standing in the eye of the storm, my eyes start to roll..." It was possibly my favourite song off the EP, and I was extremely flattered that Troye had let me listen to it so early. 

"I reach out and touch." As I sang the last word, I dramatically reached out and touched the coffee maker. 

"Ouch! Oww oww oww oww," I hopped around, holding my hand close to my chest. Of course I'd forgotten how hot the coffee maker was. "Stupid stupid stupid Connor!"

Just then, I heard a familiar chuckle behind me. I spun around. 

"Troye?" I gasped, still clinging to my burnt hand. What the heck is he doing in my hotel room?

He seemed to be having trouble. "Sorry, I just thought I'd come visit, but I didn't expect to walk in on this!" He kept laughing, bent over at the waist and clutching his stomach. 

"It's not funny! I'm seriously injured!" I pretended to be deeply offended, knowing it would only make him laugh harder. Sure enough, he collapsed to his knees, struggling to breathe as tears spring from his eyes. 

"Hey, I'm serious. It's not really that funny." Why is he laughing so hard? All I did was burn my hand. I stared at him, more than slightly confused now. 

"Look down," he said, breathing deeply as he calmed down. Okay... I glanced at my lower body. Oh. Crap. How did I forget to get dressed? Sure enough, I was only wearing my boxers. As I realized what I must have looked like, hopping around half naked, I couldn't help chuckling. 

"See?" Troye smirked at me, "it is funny!" 

I sighed in mock disappointment. "Yeah yeah, you got me, I guess." Then I started thinking. Wait. "Why did you say you came into my room again?"

"To say good morning and see what you're up to today, duh!" 

Oh. Well if he's comfortable coming into my room with no warning, I guess it's fine that I did the same last night. Right?

As if he could hear my thoughts, Troye spoke up again. "Oh, thanks by the way. For checking up on me last night. I really appreciate it."

If I didn't know better, I would think he was blushing. 

"No problem, honestly it felt a little weird, but I wanted to make sure you were alright." Sure I did. "Anyways, I was planning on going out today, doing some shopping and just seeing the city. I have a panel at four o'clock though." I hesitated, then decided to go for it. "Do you want to tag along? I could use some company."

His face brightened so much, I almost mistook him for the sun outside my window. "Of course I do! That sounds great!" He squealed, apparently very excited about hanging out with me. I wasn't about to question it, though. 

Instead I smiled back. "Awesome! Just let me, uh, get dressed, and then we can, um, leave, I guess," I finished awkwardly, then escaped to the bathroom, ignoring the laughter behind me. 

After a few minutes, I was ready to go. I returned to the kitchen, raising my eyebrows at the sight before me. Troye was intensely focused on the sandwich before him. 

"Nutella? Really?" 

He jumped three feet into the air, then turned around with the guiltiest look I'd ever seen. 

"I'll buy you another jar, I promise!" He squeaked as his cheeks reddened. 

"Naw, don't worry about it. Are you ready to head out?" He nodded and followed me into the hallway. 

**

Three hours later, we'd somehow ended up in a coffee shop. After a lengthy discussion about their menu, we each ordered a cappuccino with whipped cream and one of their savoury crepes, which a sign above the door dubbed "award winning".

Within minutes, our orders arrived. "Mmm", I sighed, wiping away some sauce that had dribbled onto my chin. 

"They weren't lying when they said these were award winning," Troye agreed, taking another bite. 

"I would definitely give this an award: most likely to make Connor Franta die of happiness," I added with a smirk. 

He nodded. "Or most likely to make Troye Sivan pass out from sheer delight and ecstasy."

I thought for a second. "Most Valuable Player award, but player as in flirt, because everyone falls in love with it?" I cringed, knowing how pathetic my pun was. 

Troye shook his head. "Sorry, nope. If you have to explain a pun, it's not good enough. How about, Most Valuable Pantry item?"

We continued to banter back and forth as we finished our food. Eventually we decided to move on, paying and pushing open the old oak door. 

"So, what now?" Troye asked, his eyes meeting mine curiously. Truthfully, I had no idea, and I glanced up and down the street for inspiration. 

"I don't think there's much else here, but we could go to the mall for a bit," I finally answered, then looked back at him. Strangely, he had his eyes closed and appeared to be snoring. Is he asleep? I nudged him gently and his eyes jerked open. 

"What? Sorry, I think I fell asleep while you were taking so long to decide!" He smirked teasingly. 

"Haha, very funny. In all seriousness, though, what do you want to do?"

He squinted in concentration, before his face lit up. "I know! I heard there's a mall around here somewhere; we could go there for a while!"

I shoved him in response. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

Laughing, we made our way back to my car. Troye glanced at me hesitantly, and I knew immediately what was coming. 

"Can I drive?"

I scoffed at him. "Of course not, idiot."

"Why not?" He whined. 

"Because it's my car, and you don't even have an American license." I replied sternly. As if I would ever let him drive my car. 

He sighed in defeat and slipped into the passenger seat. "Fine, but I get to pick the radio station then."

I shrugged. It was a small price to pay, and I loved seeing him smile when he found a good song. Plus there was a chance he might even sing along, and I was not going to pass that up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's Elia here :) I hope you like this so far. Don't worry, I'm not planning on doing many author's notes, I just wanted to introduce myself and all that jazz. Also self-promo time: my tumblr is onlyyoutubematters or if you're more into the Connor Franta type pretty photography, justanothersleeplessromantic is an option too. My YouTube channel is Elia Hope, I mean www.youtube.com/EliahopeDance, and it would be AMAZING if you could check that out as well. I absolutely adore anyone who takes the time to read my little fanfic (yes, that means you too, silly) and I hate to ask but please give kudos and comment and share and all that cool stuff. Anyways, that's it, and the next chapter will be up soon (I know, I know, I hate the word as much as you do). Peace out, flutterbies!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a note that this was posted on Wattpad two years ago and I'm moving it over, so if things are weird that's why. Ok cool.

Chapter 4: Eye Contact is a Dangerous Thing

Troye's POV

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I noticed was the warm blanket enveloping me. Weird. I don't remember actually climbing under my blankets last night. I must have been really exhausted. Brushing it off as a memory lapse, I pulled the duvet off and groaned, trying to work up the energy to get up. Finally I managed to drag myself out of the cosy bed and stumbled to the toilet. That was when I noticed the second thing. 

What? I know for a fact I never changed before bed. In fact, I should still be wearing my towel... Suddenly intrigued and a tad paranoid, I glanced around for anything else out of place. When I couldn't find anything, I sighed in relief. Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I was surprised to find two new texts. 

Connor: just realized we both stayed at the hotel, wondered if you want to hang out for a few hours?

Connor: hope I didn't wake you up with the last text, sorry! ... Or with this one, oops. Anyways, it's fine if you don't want to. 

Those were the only texts, and I wondered if he'd fallen asleep or simply given up. I automatically felt awful for ignoring him, before I realized I must have been asleep at the time. Still, the last sentence of the second text made me wonder. Does he really think I would ever purposely choose not to hang out with him? I knew I needed to change his mind, even if I had no idea how to go about doing that. 

Just then, my eyes fell on an object sitting on the dresser. Quickly crossing the room, I picked it up. It was a hotel key; after a few seconds, I recognized the number. Connor must have left his spare key here at some point yesterday. That gave me a positively brilliant idea, and I threw on an outfit as fast as I could. Thankfully, my hair was behaving and it didn't take long to style into my usual quiff. Soon I was rushing down the hallway to his room.   
As I reached to unlock the door, I paused in thought. This might not be the best idea. He could still be sleeping, or naked, or doing something private. 

That led to another thought. Did Connor do the same thing last night? After he didn't receive any texts, did he decide to check up on me? Everything suddenly clicked into place. He must have seen me asleep in my towel and, being the incredible friend he was, tucked me in properly.   
Chills skittered down my spine as I realised what that meant. So he definitely saw me naked. Perfect. For some odd reason, though, I wasn't too upset about that fact. Rather than dwelling on that rather disturbing revelation, I proceeded to enter the room. 

As I opened my mouth to announce my presence, I heard oddly familiar lyrics coming from the kitchenette area thing. I think it was called a kitchenette, or at least that's what my mum always called it. 

It didn't take long for me to recognise my own song, Touch. Hmmm, Connor's voice isn't that bad. I quickly followed the sound until I saw him in front of me. His back was turned, so he didn't notice me watching as he dramatically sang the last word. At the same moment, he threw his arm out and hit the scalding coffee maker.   
Ouch! That looked painful! I cringed as he withdrew his hand and started hopping around. As I took in the entire situation and realised he was still in his boxers, it became more and more hilarious until I couldn't contain a laugh. 

Of course, he spun around in horror when he heard me. The expression on his face just made me laugh harder, and soon I was in an uncontrollable laughing fit. 

"Sorry, I just thought I'd come visit, but I didn't expect to walk in on this!" I tried to explain my laughter to Connor, but that only reminded me of how funny he'd looked before, which made me laugh harder. I vaguely heard him answer, but I was struggling to breathe as tears started streaming down my face. Granted, the situation wasn't that hilarious, but now I'd started and I couldn't stop. My knees buckled and I landed on the ground, which made me laugh harder. 

Finally I managed to choke out, "Look down!" Connor looked extremely confused, but quickly understood and chuckled. 

I took that as a personal victory and cheered. "See? It is funny!" I was so proud when he admitted that I was right, that I almost missed his next question. 

"Why did you say you came into my room again?"

I considered brushing it off or joking, but realised he was serious. "To say good morning and see what you're up to today, duh!" 

I figure he deserves a straight up answer. Plus why should I be embarrassed about going into his room when he practically put me to bed last night? Oh yeah, I should probably address that... But how? The more I thought about it, the more awkward it felt. I mean, he saw me naked. Oh my god, he saw me naked! Ummmm..... Ok Troye Sivan, say something. Say anything. 

"Oh, thanks by the way. For checking up on me last night. I really appreciate it." 

That wasn't bad! I mentally patted myself on the back. However, my body was not so assured and my face felt way too hot. 

Thankfully he answered quickly. "No problem, honestly it felt a little weird, but I wanted to make sure you were alright." I blushed again and opened my mouth to respond, but Connor continued. "Anyways, I was planning on going out today, doing some shopping and just seeing the city. I have a panel at four o'clock though. Do you want to tag along? I could use some company."

Extremely thankful for a distraction, I nodded way too exuberantly. "Of course I do! That sounds great!"  
While Connor got dressed, I decided to appease my grumbling stomach, preferably with Nutella. I opened several cupboards before sighing in frustration. "Connor! Please tell me you have Nutella! What sort of crazy person doesn't have Nutella?" Seriously though. There must be some Nutella somewhere! Finally I spotted a jar behind a cereal box. "Yes!" I did a celebratory dance, stopping before Connor could see me. That would be embarrassing. Then again, we've seemed to find ourselves in embarrassing situations way too often in the past few hours.

I was happily munching my Nutella sandwich when Connor walked back into the room. Of course he had to poke fun at it.

Once we left the hotel, we headed out into the city. We spent a few hours in different shops, including an incredible restaurant with "award winning" crepes. After bickering back and forth for a while, we decided to head to the mall.

We were on our way, with Connor in the driver's seat - sigh - and the radio blasting music, when I happened to glance over. To my surprise, my eyes met two gorgeous green ones. Against my will, my heart lept into my throat. Something deep within me was refusing to look away. And if I didn't know better, I would think I saw similar thoughts reflected in Connor's eyes. I could just lean across right now and-

BEEEEP!

My head whipped around at the same time Connor slammed on the brakes, coming to a stop inches behind the rear bumper of the car ahead of us. Shit, that was close. I leaned my head on the dashboard in relief, overwhelmed by our near escape. 

Almost immediately, I felt a warm hand on my back. 

"Are you alright?" Connor sounded slightly panicked. "Sorry, I have no idea what happened! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" He continued to repeat that line under his breath, as if he was attempting to calm himself down and reassure me simultaneously. 

I sat up and grabbed his hand. "Hey, don't worry about it. I didn't notice the car either. It's my fault too. And I'm perfectly fine, are you?" I ignored the sudden urge to hug him tightly. What is happening? No, I can't be having these feelings. Remember what happened last time?

He smiled in relief. "Yeah, I'm good. No one got hurt, that's the important thing. And we can still go to the mall!" I met his cheeky smirk with a grin of my own. He nudged my hand. "You should smile with your teeth more."

Maybe I will. Just for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry it's been so long! Like months long, which is just stupid. But I'm ridiculously busy and so exhausted that I try to do nothing as often as I can. Maybe you know what I mean. Anyways, that's no excuse, and I'm sorry. Hopefully I can hop back on this bandwagon!! And feel free to share this story or whatever!
> 
> Also, what a frantastic time to ship Tronnor. I'm so excited for what the near future might hold. 
> 
> Love you guys!!  
> Elia
> 
> Ps. Remember, never let the truth get in the way of a great lie ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sometimes Love is Only For Fulfillment

Connor's POV

After a dreadfully near encounter with the afterlife, we finally made it to the mall. Unfortunately, it rapidly became all too clear to me that there were literally no decent stores in this mall. 

"There are literally no decent stores in this mall."

Oh good, I'm not alone. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I turned to the owner of the voice. "I totally agree."

Troye smiled at me lightheartedly. "So what should we do? Hang out at the food court for a while?"

I couldn't help gaping at him. "Dude. We literally just ate." Strangely enough, he didn't respond. Glancing over, I realized he looked vaguely uncomfortable. Who knew food would ever make Troye Sivan uncomfortable? 

I quickly glanced around in the hopes of changing the subject. Bingo. "I've got a better idea, how about a movie?"

Troye glanced at me puzzledly. "Buy a movie?"

"No, watch a movie. In the theatre. Right there." I pointed towards the cinema doors.

"YES! THAT'S AWESOME!" He yelled and took off towards the doors. Laughing, I jogged after him. 

"I didn't know you could run," I teased once I'd caught up to him.

He stuck his tongue out at me and threw open the door, stalking away from me in false anger. I shook my head and followed much less dramatically. 

As it turned out, there were no good movies at this mall either, so we made the best out of what we had and chose some zombie movie that looked interesting. 

"I really hope this doesn't end up being all about romance," Troye commented as we settled into our seats. 

"You know it probably will be," I replied, "because this is a young adult movie and our society as a whole puts way too much emphasis on the need to always be in love with someone."

Troye turned and stared at me. "How deeply have you thought about this?"

I shrugged. "It just bothers me, that's all. I mean, who decided we all need to be longing after someone all the time? Advertising agencies, probably, so they could use it as a marketing strategy. And it's not true. Nobody needs someone else to complete them; we are all whole people on our own. Sure, love can be great, I guess, but it's in no way the best or most important part of life. Having adventures, trying new things, travelling, meeting new people, finding small successes in life, those are all more important than love. And they're also more fulfilling. They don't end in heartbreak and painful memories."

Troye was still staring at me when I finished. Okay, maybe I came on too strongly. 

Finally he spoke. "Woah."

"Good woah or bad woah?" I laughed nervously.

"Good woah!" He reassured me. "I'm just impressed. You just... you just formed my thoughts into words." He continued staring at me with wide eyes. 

I hadn't been expecting that. "You mean you agree?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely. I don't think romance is nearly as great as television makes it out to be. Frankly, it's overrated. And you said it perfectly. It's not fulfilling, just heartbreaking." He sounded bitter, I noticed. Should I mention it? 

Better not. I glanced at the previously dark screen. "Oh, it's starting!" Saved by the bell - er, movie.

I sort of zoned out during the movie. I couldn't forget the look on Troye's face when he was talking about love. It certainly seemed bitter. I wonder if he's had his heart broken... Now that I truly considered it, I realized I didn't really know anything about Troye's love life. Judging by his songs, I was pretty sure he'd been in at least one relationship, but beyond that I was clueless. He'd mentioned before that his love life was the one part of his life that he really wanted to keep private. Which is why I didn't understand why fans thought he was with Tyler. Why would he make the one private part of his life public enough to kiss on stage?

I pushed away the tickling at the back of my mind that I shouldn't be so strongly against Troyler. They were both my friends, and they were both great people, even if they'd both made some mistakes in the past. A mark of good character is the ability to forgive others, right? But I could never imagine them together. They just didn't seem to fit properly, like pieces from two different puzzles jammed together. And eventually the facade would crack and people would see what I saw. They had to. I didn't understand why they kept the act up for so long. Was it just to get views? I knew they never meant to start anything; at the beginning they were just acting normal and fans took it the wrong way. And then the Trevor Project fundraiser happened and Tyler suggested having a "bribe" to raise money. Which seemed a bit shady to me but Troye surprisingly went along with it. Tyler wanted to use a stage kiss but Troye was oddly against it, claiming that they should "deliver on their promise" since the fans had raised the money. My mind briefly flashed back to that awkward conversation.   
****  
We were hanging out at Tyler's house, just chilling on his couch and scrolling through tumblr on our respective devices. Then Troye happened to see a post about the upcoming kiss. 

"So Tilly, this kiss thing is actually happening?"

Tyler glanced up from his laptop. "Huh? Oh yeah. They actually raised the money! I can't believe it! I'm so thrilled that they somehow managed to go so far beyond the goal and-"

Troye interrupted before Tyler got completely lost in his tangent. "So we have to do it, then."

Tyler bit his lip. "Well, I was thinking we could do a stage kiss. You know, since you're an actor and I've done theatre so we both know how to, and since it would be awkward to actually kiss you and all, especially in front of so many people... you know?" He finally stopped to take a breath. 

I glanced at Troye, expecting him to agree. Surprisingly, he looked contemplative. "I don't know, Ty... I mean, we did promise to kiss if they raised the money. And like you said, they went far above the goal. It just doesn't seem fair that our payback is fake, does it?"

Much less surprising than Troye's facial expression was Tyler's shocked one. "You-you're suggesting we actually kiss?" His voice squeaked at the end in surprise... and possibly panic. 

"Well... yeah." Troye replied slowly. "I mean... I know we're just friends. And it's kind of awkward. But like you said, I'm an actor. I've kissed tons of people. I've kissed tons of girls, that doesn't mean I like them. Surely people understand that a kiss is just a kiss."

I resisted the urge to start singing Mr. Brightside, somehow having enough common sense to know it wouldn't help anything. Besides, they were both glancing at me to deduct my stance on the matter. Which was an issue, because I hadn't decided. 

"What do you think, Connor?" Damn you and your bright hair, Tyler Oakley. 

I replied pensively. "Um, I'm not sure. Troye does have a good point. And I guess the fans might understand that. I think the biggest issue is if you're both comfortable with it." Truth be told, I was pretty proud of my answer. 

Tyler nodded. "I guess I'm okay with it... actually, I don't know. I'm not going to act like a kiss virgin, because y'all know I kiss men like nobody's business. But, I don't know, it seems like a personal thing when it's us, and we're friends, and sober, and in front of people. And maybe a kiss isn't always so obviously just a kiss. I don't know." He bit his lip again and almost seemed to be blushing. How very un-Tyler Oakley-like of him. 

Troye seemed almost frustrated at this point. "Look, I get what you're saying. But a kiss isn't a confession of true love or something like in Disney movies. Everyone kisses everyone this day. Even straight people kiss people of the same gender as them." I started getting mildly uncomfortable as he continued, "Right, Connor?"

I was probably a subtle eggplant colour. "Uh... right." Of course I'm straight, Troye, don't mind me with all my straightness sorted in a straight line like all straight people have their straightness. If only my sexuality was as sorted as that. 

"Right," Troye confirmed. "Like, if I kissed Connor, it wouldn't mean that he was gay and we were madly in love with each other, right?"

I glanced at Tyler, unsure of which of us was meant to answer. Thankfully, he chose to. "Right... I don't understand, though. You aren't kissing Connor, you're kissing me."

Troye rolled his eyes. "No, but it's the same thing, except you're gay. Which doesn't matter as much as someone people make it out to matter. So, like, I'm just saying that nowadays it doesn't matter who people kiss. People of the same gender, people of another gender, people they've known their whole lives, people they've never talked to. It just happens. So why is it different with us?"

Tyler was also getting frustrated and I was really hoping this wouldn't end in an awkward angry make out session because I was NOT up for watching that. 

"It's not just with us. Tell me honestly you would casually make out with anyone." Tyler gritted his teeth. 

"I would casually make out with anyone," Troye repeated confidently. "Except old people, or kids, or homophobes, or people with diseases."

"Fine," Tyler replied, as I swore he smirked. "Then prove it. Make out with Con, right now." 

My blood ran cold as I stared at him. He did not just say what I think he said. But he definitely had, and now Troye was staring at me, and I couldn't hear anything over the roaring in my ears. I could feel my face heat up, powerless to stop it. I started feeling lightheaded. Maybe I'll faint. Won't that be embarrassing. Then maybe Troye will HAVE to kiss me to wake me up, like Sleeping Beauty. I almost laughed at myself before I realized that hey, I can actually breathe. That's cool. The heat slowly left my face and the room came back into focus.

The first thing I noticed was the concerned faces of my two best friends. "Are you okay?" Troye asked worriedly. I nodded, blushing slightly again. "Are you sure?" I nodded again. 

Say something, idiot. "Yeah, sorry. I felt a little faint for a second, but I think I'm good. What were you saying, Tyler?" Solid recovery, Connor. Thanks, Connor. 

Tyler repeated what he'd said, definitely smirking this time. I glanced at Troye. 

He opened his mouth hesitantly. "Would you be okay with that?"

I stared at him. "You're okay with it?"

"Yeah. Like I said to Tyler," he stared pointedly at the man beside him, "kissing isn't a big deal. And if I apparently have to prove it, then that's okay, if slightly ridiculous. I just want to make sure you're okay with it first."

Aw, what the hell, I thought. "Of course I'm okay with it."

That seemed to be the only confirmation he needed, because he immediately leaned forward and grasped the side of my face. I gasped slightly as his lips met mine, then kissed back. For the first time in forever, I turned off my brain and just responded naturally. Lightly holding his chin, I moved my lips against his slowly. After a few seconds, I felt his tongue against my lips, and I opened them. I pressed my mouth against his more forcefully as everything started to blur, except the feeling rushing through me like lightning bolts. A thought briefly flirted through my mind before disappearing in favour of the lips against mine. This feels like home. As crazy as it sounded, it seemed like the most honest thought I'd ever had. 

The seconds turned into minutes as I lost myself in his mouth and lips and tongue and teeth and oh god, how can this possibly be wrong, and then I felt him reluctantly pull away. 

I stared at Troye in shock, lips wet and slightly swollen. Holy fuck. I could tell that he felt the same way as his eyes flickered between my eyes and lips, his mouth open. 

"Holy fuck." Surprisingly, it didn't come from either one of us. We turned simultaneously, startled, to the right where Tyler gaped at us. "That was... what was that?"

"Intense." Troye finally found his voice, while I still struggled to find rational thought patterns among my inner screaming. 

I think I managed a soft "yeah" before slumping back on the couch. I quickly pulled my laptop back onto my lap, searching for anything to that could distract me from whatever the hell just happened. I dimly heard the other two talking beside me. 

"So you believe me now?"

"Uh... yeah. Okay, sure."

"Okay, so we're good to go?"

"Yeah, but we are not kissing the way you just kissed him, because I'm not giving our millions of fans simultaneous orgasms. That's just cruel." 

Troye laughed in dismissal and left it at that, but I couldn't get Tyler's words out of my head. What was so orgasmic about our kiss? Surely it wasn't that great... at least to other people. Personally, it was the best experience of my life. Weird, since I'm so straight and all. Oh, give it up, Connor. Nope. Fine, but someday you're going to have to admit, at least to yourself, that you're... Nope. 

****

I was yanked from my reminiscing when one of the characters on the screen screamed far too loudly for an old man. 

I couldn't help glancing over to Troye. Does he even remember that kiss? Was it really nothing to him, like he said? We'd never mentioned it since, just like I'd never thought about its impact on me. Connor Joel Franta, you're almost as straight as a board. And almost is okay, because nobody is 100% straight. So you're all good, look at all the hot girls on screen and for gods sake stop thinking about the very male person within arms reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I really liked this chapter, which is why it's a lot longer than the others. I prefer this length though, because it allows me to get more plot in. And I'm going to stop repeating each chapter in each character's POV because that drags it out and makes it less enjoyable for me and I think you guys too. It was necessary for the first couple chapters, in order to establish their various opinions, but I think it's been going on long enough.   
> Please let me know what you think about the chapter! And also the story! And I apologize for all the shade I threw in Troyler's direction. Also, wasn't that flashback great? I literally wrote it in like two minutes because I liked it so much.   
> Anywho. I added titles and pictures because this was really boring before. So there you go.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Bumping Hands and Butterflies

Troye's POV

The movie was okay, I guess. It had too much love and too little plot structure, but as long as it didn't win any awards I was alright. 

I couldn't stop thinking about my conversation with Connor. I'd never had someone say exactly what I felt before, and it was rather odd. To be honest, I was starting to think that Connor and I were a lot more alike than I'd ever considered. 

But the way he'd said it had been so nonchalant and unbothered. I bet he's never even gotten his heart broken before, I thought. As far as I know, he's never even had a serious relationship. So he probably knows nothing about heartbreak. 

Unlike me. 

I hadn't let myself think about him for a long time, pushing away every thought of him so violently that sometimes it felt like I was just bashing my own head, over and over. As long as I didn't give him any space within my mind, as long as I didn't let him take over my thoughts, I wasn't giving him control over me. And I had promised myself too many times to count that I would never give him any control, ever again. 

He had ruined me enough last time. 

"Troye?"

I felt a hand brush my own and slowly lifted my head to meet Connor's worried eyes. 

"Are you alright?" His hand didn't leave mine and I noticed my cheeks were wet with tears. I was crying? But I never cry. That was weird. I felt a pain in my hand, the one Connor was holding, and realized I was digging my nails in as hard as I could. 

"Sorry. Yeah. I'm just..." I scrambled for words. "Umm, it was a really emotional movie?" 

I grinned sheepishly at him as he shook his head, laughing a bit. 

"Troye, that was literally the stupidest movie I've ever watched." Okay, so he wasn't buying it. 

"Well..." I started nervously. "I was just thinking. I didn't realize I was crying; I'm sorry if I scared you. I promise nothing is wrong, okay?" 

"Okay." Then he giggled. He literally giggled. "Let's not go all The Fault in Our Stars on this."

I smirked. "What, you don't like my song?"

"Well..." Connor laughed. "Just kidding. You know that song makes me cry."

"I told you about the remake I did for TRXYE, right?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, you did. You know how excited I am for you to release it, right?"

By this time the theatre had cleared out completely and we were getting some odd looks from the janitors - and a few glares - so we grabbed our stuff and headed out. 

"You've told me a few times, actually," I answered Connor's question from earlier. "Which I really appreciate."

"As long as you understand how proud I am of you." He casually looped his arm through mine as we made an unspoken decision to leave the mall.

"Don't worry, I do understand. And I'm so thankful for your support in these past months. All those Skype conversations when I fell asleep on you... I apologize again for that, by the way." I still couldn't believe I'd done that, multiple times. 

Connor just laughed. "Don't worry about it. Plus it was kind of sweet that you were giving up precious sleep just to talk to me." He smirked. 

"Very funny," I muttered. 

He laughed again. "Plus you're kind of cute when you're asleep."

I shot him a look. That was kind of a weird comment. Deciding to brush past it, I replied smoothly, "So you're saying I'm not cute when I'm awake?"

He looked relieved that I hadn't questioned him. "Well, you're just easier on the eyes when you aren't opening yours. Or your mouth, for that matter."

I'm sorry, but you asked for it. "Oh believe me, I can look pretty good with my mouth open." I winked at his shocked face. 

"I - I wouldn't know..." he stuttered, flustered and blushing. 

I laughed. "I'm kidding, god, I'm not that much of a slut."

"Hey, no slut shaming!" He cried dramatically, hitting me across the chest. 

"Ow!" I rubbed my chest and glared at him jokingly. "Rude."

"Okay but you were being more rude." I swore he was mentally flipping his hair. I could just feel it.

"Fine, whatever," I gave in as we got into the car. Connor was driving, again, because he was too stubborn and too sensible to let me take a turn. 

When we arrived at the hotel, I was surprised to see a large crowd in the foyer. A large crowd of youtubers, that is. Including but not limited to, Mamrie, Hannah, Grace, Colleen, Zoe, Caspar, Marcus, Niomi, Joe, Tanya, Jim, Dan, Phil, Alfie, Louise, Joey, Shane, Alexa, Jenna, Bethany, and the person running full speed towards us...

"Tyler!" He barrelled into me with a huge hug. "Ty, you're crushing me!" He let go and grinned, then gave Connor the same treatment.

Then he got serious. "We were so worried! Both of you were missing, no note or anything, and neither one of you were answering any of our texts!"

I glanced at Connor. "My phone was turned off for the movie."

He nodded. "Mine too. I never even thought about it being an issue."

We turned to Tyler, who smiled. "At least you're back now and safe. But next time, let someone know before you go on a spontaneous date for the entire day!"

"I... we... it - it wasn't - I mean - we just went... it wasn't a date." I stammered.

He just smirked at us. "Sure it wasn't." He winked before turning back to the group. "I rescued them! Don't worry!"

I turned to Connor. "Wow, he's even more dramatic than you are."

"Me? Dramatic?" Connor gasped in horror and placed his hand over his heart. 

"You just proved my point, idiot." I playfully punched his arm, then ran forward before he could return the favour. "Hi guys! Tyler's right, we aren't dead after all!"

I faintly heard someone whisper "Troyler", but ignored it. At some point I'd decided not to acknowledge any of the ships I was a part of, and I'd never regretted it. There was so much drama out there and I preferred to live my life free of pressure or expectations. I would end up with whoever I ended up with and fans' personal opinions weren't going to change that.

Connor interrupted my thoughts, very rudely in fact. "So why is everyone out here? Surely you didn't all get together just because you were worried about us... I know you guys better than that."

Most of the group chuckled, then Joey spoke up. "Actually, we were about to head out for dinner."

I looked at the gigantic group in slight horror. "All of you?" Joey nodded and, well, my eyes may have been on the verge of leaving my skull entirely. "But how?"

"That's what we keep asking," someone, maybe Dan, muttered. 

"We'll make it work! Don't worry about it!" Tyler beamed at us with his usual overconfident demeanour. Sometimes I wondered how he didn't drown in his exuberance, but I suppose it would be more likely for him to be burned by his flaming homosexuality. 

I felt Connor's hand bump mine. Speaking of homosexuality... I was beginning to grow tired of constantly shoving away these thoughts. Connor was one of my best friends; I trusted him with my life, but could I trust him with my heart? I was beginning to think I may not have a choice. I can't be falling, not again. I swore this wouldn't happen. Not after last time. 

"Hey," Connor's lips brushed against my hair as he whispered. "You alright? You seem kinda zoned out." Don't think about how close his mouth is to yours. Don't do it Troye, I swear to god you'd better answer him and it better make sense and have nothing to do with his close proximity to your lips.

I shook myself, as if I were trying to shake off a chill, or a deep sense of discomfort. Too bad I gave up on that a while ago. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." I murmured under my breath, and he moved away. Thank god. I honestly didn't know how much more of this torture I could handle before I did something awful, like slamming him against a wall and kissing all the breath out of his lungs. Something potentially friendship-ruining. But maybe this is worth ruining a friendship... Stop!

I turned back to Tyler, desperately attempting to appear more composed than I felt. "Well have fun!"

Tyler chuckled. "Don't be ridiculous! You're totally coming with. Both of you!" He threw a fake glare in Connor's direction. 

Connor sighed beside me. "Fine, whatever you say, Queen Tyler." Although I wasn't looking at him, I had a distinct feeling that he was rolling his eyes. 

"So...?" Tyler turned back to me. "Are you in?"

I shrugged. Why not? It'll be a great distraction. "Sure!"

I heard a random "awesome!" from the large crowd in front of us. It was good to know someone enjoyed my company, I thought with an inward smirk.

Dinner was fantastic - er, frantastic - mostly because it involved my favourite people and fun conversations. It definitely had nothing to do with the way Connor sat beside me and laughed at everything I said. Seriously, everything. I noticed Tyler giving him a few odd looks but no one else seemed to notice; thankfully, nobody noticed the way I couldn't stop smiling either. Honestly, my jaw hurt by the end.

Everyone was smiling, though; this group of people was so great together and we always had fun. If only I could see them more often. Maybe I should move to L.A... I quickly abandoned the thought. I was happy in Perth, and I would miss my family too much. But maybe someday, if my music career took off the way I hoped it would. Besides, every time I drove down certain streets or went to certain Perth shops I was reminded of him and all the ways he ruined me. It would be a relief to be able to get rid of those memories once and for all, and maybe moving would help. 

Soon enough we all finished eating and decided to head back to the hotel. Connor, Tyler, Zoe, Alfie, and I piled into Connor's car. The three in the backseat started a conversation, but Connor was focused on driving and I quickly tuned out. The city lights kept distracting me. Bright lights and city sounds... 

Before I knew it, Connor parked at the hotel beside the other cars, then turned to me as the others scrambled out. 

"Do you want to hang out for a bit? I'm kind of tired from dinner so I don't want to be in a crowd anymore, but I figured if you wanted to..." he trailed off uncertainly, awkwardly biting at the skin on his lip. 

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, that would be great!" As if I would ever consider saying no.

We said goodnight to everyone once we were in the lobby again. I heard a few chuckles and Tyler actually put his fingers up to wolf whistle before I shot him a warning glance. Thankfully he immediately took his fingers out of his mouth and gave a sheepish grin. Maybe he's finally learning what boundaries are, I thought jokingly, but mentally shook my head. I knew Tyler was always good about those things, despite what some people might think. Flashing him a quick smile, I followed Connor into the elevator and watched as he pressed the button with a fancy 4 engraved.

"And here we are, room 226!" He announced, beaming, and quickly unlocked the door. As soon as it was open, I took off and hurtled myself onto his bed, splaying myself out into a starfish. 

"This is definitely more comfortable than my bed," I whined as Connor laughed and shut the door. Suddenly he was running at me and I braced myself as he jumped directly onto my back. "Oww! Connor!" 

He laughed directly into my ear, then slipped off the bed. "Let's see what the hotel gifted us," he said as he opened the minibar.

Too lazy to get up, I rolled over and watched. "You do know you have to pay for that stuff, right?" He made a shushing motion and continued examining the minibar's contents. 

"Okay," he finally took his head out. "There's some really good wine here. And..." he peeked at the sheet of paper on top, "It isn't that expensive!"

He walked back towards the bed, slowly swinging the bottle back and forth in his hand. "Shall we?" 

I laughed and reached for the bottle opener in his other hand. "We shall!" I announced dramatically. He grabbed two glasses as I attempted to open the bottle. After four lousy attempts, I looked at him in exasperation.

"Want some help?" He smirked back, then took the bottle and the bottle opener without waiting for an answer. 

Maybe we should have saved some for later, I lazily thought four and a half glasses later. Glancing beside me, I laughed as I realized Connor had actually just drunk the last few drops straight out of the bottle.

"What're you laughing at?" He grumbled and half heartedly tossed a hand out to swat me. Dodging it, I grabbed it and pulled him towards me. He fell over and pushed me down onto the bed. I noticed something poking my back and reached under me, pulling out the opener. I shook it at him a few times before it went flying across the room. 

"Oops," I mumbled. How'd that happen? I tried to see where it had landed but the room was sort of blurry and I couldn't sit up with Connor draped over me. "Hey," I prodded at him. "Make like a teenage boy watching porn and get off."

He stared at me, trying to focus his eyes on mine. "That doesn't even make sense." Finally giving up, his eyes landed on my lips. Dazedly he reached out and traced them with his pointer finger. I tried, sort of, not to react, but my body betrayed me and I sucked in a deep breath at the contact. Stupid body! Why you do that?

Connor finally took his hand away, but his eyes stayed glued to my mouth. "Hey, remember..." he said slowly, sounding out the words with difficulty. 

"Remember what?" I couldn't make eye contact with his eyes on my lips, so I just looked at his lips. We're making an X with our lines of sight.

"Remember when we kissed?"

My heart stopped. He remembers that? I couldn't believe it. I'd been trying for months to forget, convinced he'd forgotten long ago, and he remembered this whole time? Maybe just when he's drunk... That thought should have probably bothered me more, but I lost track of it too fast. Belatedly, I realized I should answer. 

"Yeah, wanna do it again?" WHAT?!? Brain what did you just do that is not what I wanted to say why would you say that what is your problem why would

My thoughts stopped completely when I felt his lips on mine. Oh. Okay. I automatically responded, pressing into him and lightly biting his lip. So this is happening...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me for ending it there. I'm sorry... naw, not really. But I am sorry for how long this chapter took. If it seems mildly disjointed, it's because I wrote it in three sections, several weeks apart. Oops.
> 
> Anyways, I don't have much to say. And I don't like reading long author's notes so I won't do that. Plus after writing that last bit I feel mildly drunk so I can't exactly type. How does that even happen? Anywho. Thanks for reading. You know what to do (which is: whatever you want to! Live your life! Be free!) Love you all. 
> 
> \- Elia


End file.
